The crazies you meet in the middle of the desert
ok, I had to go to beautiful Yuma, AZ this week. I don't think I could put this any better than one of the guys at work did..."it was hotter than three rats in a wool sock screwing." I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds hot (temperature-wise, not sexually). Anyway, we were out in the middle of the desert doing some testing and things weren't going well, so we called it quits a few days early, and I just got home a few minutes ago, instead of this coming Sunday, which is what the original plan was. So, we had to have a teleconference with the customer that was paying the bill, and we couldn't hear him over the AC in the trailer, so we had to turn that off, and it was a 3-hour telecon. It was a little toasty and smelled a little gamey by the time we were done. On the plus side, I got about 20 hours of OT this week, and saw some mule deer on the way to the test range. At least I didn't do what one of the other engineers did a few weeks ago and hit a horse. The same guy also got bitten by a baby rattlesnake, yikes!
I left the test range yesterday afternoon to head to Phoenix (pronounced Puh-hoe-nix). to fly out at 6am this morning. I was about an hour up the road, and getting a bit tired and thirsty. There had been a few signs for a place called Stone Cabin. I figured if it was worthy to put on a roadside mileage sign, there might be something there...there wasn't. It was a "This 'n' That" Shop that was closed, so I motored on. The next town I came to was Quartzsite. I stopped at a gas station and got an energy drink and a candybar, as I was dead on my feet and nearly fell asleep a few times on the long straight stretch of road between Yuma and Quartzsite. As I was heading from the station to I-10, I went past this place that looked like a big junkpile and had signs that they had all kinds of crap for sale. I saw a few old motorcycles out of the corner of my eye, so I turned around to go back and look, as it was only about 2pm, and I didn't have anything to do the rest of the day except return my rental car and check in to the hotel. I knew I'd be too tired to go to the casino anyway.
So I go back and look at the bikes, nothing special, a couple old jap bikes from the 70's, and in a trailer in the back, a shload of m-cycle parts from all makes and models, nothing I had to have, and nothing I could take with or cared to ship home. I walked over to the "main building" which was a camper with tarps attached too it and junk piled everywhere. I looked through the rest of his crap, and there was some interesting stuff, nearly bare copper and gold ore he had taken from some abandoned mine, some polished rocks, some junky "antiques", toys, probably some good stuff, but nothing I cared much about. I noticed the faint smell of old piss, like if you pissed on some clothes and left them in the corner or something, not good. Then, I see the guy, nothing you wouldn't expect from a joint like this, looked like most possibly deranged junk dealers. I said hi, and he told me if I wanted ANYTHING, just ask, and that he had a bunch of stuff that wasn't out, like emeralds, gold, silver, etc. This is valuable stuff and he's just sitting under a tarp. He said it was in the "house". I took that to mean the camper. I made an aside comment along the lines of, "yeah, don't have enough security out here to keep that kind of stuff out."
this is when things got interesting. He said something about having no security with Bush and his cronies in office, and then walked over to the "counter". I was like, yeah dude, i know what you mean. He grabs this manilla folder full of papers and starts going through it, and says, "yesterday was my four year anniversary". I'm like...ok, and he says, "9/11/03, four terrorists walked into my business."
me: ...
crazy guy: yeah, the chief of police, the fire chief, the mayor and [some other guy i don't remember]
me: ok...
The crazy guy shows me this paper from a fire inspection and starts pointing out everything illegal about it, how they were unannounced, didn't show proper credentials, spelled stuff wrong, etc. a lot of the stuff is meant for buildings, like escape routes, sewer, smoke alarms, fire extinguishers and electrical code. i'm like, ok, this guy might have a legit gripe, but they probably want this junk pile gone, so whatever. THEN, he starts talking about how corrupt everyone is in this town of 3300 people. they're putting people out of business so they can build stuff and line their own pockets. the lady next door wanted to buy his place but he wasn't selling, and that's when the shit hit the fan for him, and after 4 years of fighting it, nobody wants to help him (ACLU, etc) and in 10 days they're coming to shut him down. also, the cops are corrupt. they were doing drug raids and he got word he was next, but he didn't have any drugs. since he didn't have drugs, he knew the cops would plant them, so he started a rumor that they were going to plant drugs on him to get him in trouble. when the fire marshal came, he wanted fire exits opened in the piles of junk in case anything happened to the camper, so this guy started a rumor that the town was going to burn down his camper so they could shut him down. they didn't want him to die, that way there wouldn't be an investigation, so that's why they wanted fire exits. then, he pulls out the mother of his conspiracy theories, this rich guy conspired to kill the mayor, faked the mayors death, paid off a judge and is now mayor...wtf?
i finally talked my way out of the situation, gotta hit the road, etc. and left. before i left he told me to be careful because all cops are corrupt, and he's just lucky he hasn't been hassled by one that has been corrupt enough to plant guns or drugs on him...yikes.
after that, i drove through the desert for another hour and a half to phoenix, checked into the hotel, returned my rental car and ate here for dinner. I got some BBQ sampler platter, which was pretty good. I thought it was odd that all of the employees had alice cooper style eye makeup on, but whatever. they had a lot of cool rock and sports memorabilia, and i got a shot glass for my dad, since he's a big Alice fan. unfortunately, i didn't get to meet the man himself.
went back to the hotel and went to sleep early, had to get up at 4am to get to the airport. I asked for a 4am wakeup call, and woke up on my own at 4:18...lucky. got to the airport later than planned, and since it was southwest, thought i was going to get screwed into a middle seat. luckily, it wasn't a full flight, and i got an aisle seat.
I thought I was done with the blogworthiness of this trip, but a guy at the Indy airport left me with this gem:
A woman came up to the bag claim, and was trying to get this kid to grab her bag. He asks, "which one are you looking for?" Color her and myself confused.
She was like, "that bag right there, it's mine."
guy: which flight did you come in on?
her: phoenix
guy: oh yeah, those bags are coming out right now.
her: yeah, that was my bag.
guy: oh ok, well, it'll come back around. i've worked here three years and that's one of the things i've learned.
wow
I left the test range yesterday afternoon to head to Phoenix (pronounced Puh-hoe-nix). to fly out at 6am this morning. I was about an hour up the road, and getting a bit tired and thirsty. There had been a few signs for a place called Stone Cabin. I figured if it was worthy to put on a roadside mileage sign, there might be something there...there wasn't. It was a "This 'n' That" Shop that was closed, so I motored on. The next town I came to was Quartzsite. I stopped at a gas station and got an energy drink and a candybar, as I was dead on my feet and nearly fell asleep a few times on the long straight stretch of road between Yuma and Quartzsite. As I was heading from the station to I-10, I went past this place that looked like a big junkpile and had signs that they had all kinds of crap for sale. I saw a few old motorcycles out of the corner of my eye, so I turned around to go back and look, as it was only about 2pm, and I didn't have anything to do the rest of the day except return my rental car and check in to the hotel. I knew I'd be too tired to go to the casino anyway.
So I go back and look at the bikes, nothing special, a couple old jap bikes from the 70's, and in a trailer in the back, a shload of m-cycle parts from all makes and models, nothing I had to have, and nothing I could take with or cared to ship home. I walked over to the "main building" which was a camper with tarps attached too it and junk piled everywhere. I looked through the rest of his crap, and there was some interesting stuff, nearly bare copper and gold ore he had taken from some abandoned mine, some polished rocks, some junky "antiques", toys, probably some good stuff, but nothing I cared much about. I noticed the faint smell of old piss, like if you pissed on some clothes and left them in the corner or something, not good. Then, I see the guy, nothing you wouldn't expect from a joint like this, looked like most possibly deranged junk dealers. I said hi, and he told me if I wanted ANYTHING, just ask, and that he had a bunch of stuff that wasn't out, like emeralds, gold, silver, etc. This is valuable stuff and he's just sitting under a tarp. He said it was in the "house". I took that to mean the camper. I made an aside comment along the lines of, "yeah, don't have enough security out here to keep that kind of stuff out."
this is when things got interesting. He said something about having no security with Bush and his cronies in office, and then walked over to the "counter". I was like, yeah dude, i know what you mean. He grabs this manilla folder full of papers and starts going through it, and says, "yesterday was my four year anniversary". I'm like...ok, and he says, "9/11/03, four terrorists walked into my business."
me: ...
crazy guy: yeah, the chief of police, the fire chief, the mayor and [some other guy i don't remember]
me: ok...
The crazy guy shows me this paper from a fire inspection and starts pointing out everything illegal about it, how they were unannounced, didn't show proper credentials, spelled stuff wrong, etc. a lot of the stuff is meant for buildings, like escape routes, sewer, smoke alarms, fire extinguishers and electrical code. i'm like, ok, this guy might have a legit gripe, but they probably want this junk pile gone, so whatever. THEN, he starts talking about how corrupt everyone is in this town of 3300 people. they're putting people out of business so they can build stuff and line their own pockets. the lady next door wanted to buy his place but he wasn't selling, and that's when the shit hit the fan for him, and after 4 years of fighting it, nobody wants to help him (ACLU, etc) and in 10 days they're coming to shut him down. also, the cops are corrupt. they were doing drug raids and he got word he was next, but he didn't have any drugs. since he didn't have drugs, he knew the cops would plant them, so he started a rumor that they were going to plant drugs on him to get him in trouble. when the fire marshal came, he wanted fire exits opened in the piles of junk in case anything happened to the camper, so this guy started a rumor that the town was going to burn down his camper so they could shut him down. they didn't want him to die, that way there wouldn't be an investigation, so that's why they wanted fire exits. then, he pulls out the mother of his conspiracy theories, this rich guy conspired to kill the mayor, faked the mayors death, paid off a judge and is now mayor...wtf?
i finally talked my way out of the situation, gotta hit the road, etc. and left. before i left he told me to be careful because all cops are corrupt, and he's just lucky he hasn't been hassled by one that has been corrupt enough to plant guns or drugs on him...yikes.
after that, i drove through the desert for another hour and a half to phoenix, checked into the hotel, returned my rental car and ate here for dinner. I got some BBQ sampler platter, which was pretty good. I thought it was odd that all of the employees had alice cooper style eye makeup on, but whatever. they had a lot of cool rock and sports memorabilia, and i got a shot glass for my dad, since he's a big Alice fan. unfortunately, i didn't get to meet the man himself.
went back to the hotel and went to sleep early, had to get up at 4am to get to the airport. I asked for a 4am wakeup call, and woke up on my own at 4:18...lucky. got to the airport later than planned, and since it was southwest, thought i was going to get screwed into a middle seat. luckily, it wasn't a full flight, and i got an aisle seat.
I thought I was done with the blogworthiness of this trip, but a guy at the Indy airport left me with this gem:
A woman came up to the bag claim, and was trying to get this kid to grab her bag. He asks, "which one are you looking for?" Color her and myself confused.
She was like, "that bag right there, it's mine."
guy: which flight did you come in on?
her: phoenix
guy: oh yeah, those bags are coming out right now.
her: yeah, that was my bag.
guy: oh ok, well, it'll come back around. i've worked here three years and that's one of the things i've learned.
wow
1 Comments:
hmm... house = bus buried underground. dude sounds like a true patriot to me. a survivalist, though i would stockpile hand tools, guns and ammo, and non-perishable food items rather than precious metals and gems. when the shit really hits the fan a chunk of gold is just a fancy tool or weapon though i reckon.
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